Officer Couch Potato Lunchbox Commentary
by repressedgenius
Summary: Officer Lunchbox unwinds to some mindless tv. This is what they have to say... Compiled from tumblr.
1. Chapter 1 : Hannibal

They were cuddled up on the couch with a blanket over their bodies with soft kisses and neck nuzzles shared between them as they watch the television.

Both too lazy to go out after a long week at work—it was physically and mentally exhausting, especially with Sophie's adoption finally finalized that week.

One of Gina's cousin agreed to take custody of Sophie and Gail couldn't have been happier that things worked out for the little girl.

She made sure Sophie had her number memorized and that she could contact her any time.

After watching Bones season finale—Holly's choice naturally, the younger woman took hold of the remote.

Her body was buzzing from the excitement as she switched to her favourite show.

* * *

"You should like this. It's all fancy cooking and stuff."

"Gail, he's cooking a man's calf in clay."

"Yeah! In clay… You don't get that on Masterchef. This is gourmet cooking here."

* * *

"She's hot."

"Of course, you'd zone in on the only lesbian in this show."

"That's not true."

"What? You just said she's hot."

"I mean, she's not the only lesbian."

"…"

"That annoying reporter—"

"Freddie is not a lesbian."

"I think you should trust me on this, honey."

"No, I actually watch this show since the beginning, darling."

"I read the books, babe. They flipped her gender. Pretty sure Freddie still digs the ladies though. Also, Beverly Katz is probably bi or pan."

* * *

"HAHAHAHAHAHA. OH MY GOD! Did you see that?"

"Yeap."

"That was awesome."

"Super."

"Damn, that felt good."

"Cathartic."

"What's wrong?"

"He fed his cheeks to the dog and ate his nose, Gail!"

"Yeah! I KNOW! I'M FULL OF MYSELF! HAHAHAHAHA."

"You're insane. You know that, right?"

"Mmmmm. Come here and make out with me."

* * *

**Let me know what you think. **

**I update on my tumblr a lot more regularly (repressedgenius) mainly because I suck at editing here.**


	2. Chapter 2 : Blue Is The Warmest Colour

"Here. Take this."

"Oooh, are you trying to make me drunk and take advantage of me?"

"Hah! Funny. I don't need to get you drunk for that. I just have to bring out that new lingerie set that I bought—which you know of because the bag was in another corner of my closet."

"Well, if it's such a secret then don't put it right next to my sweat pants."

"Next time then…" The taller woman moved shuffled over the couch to grab the remote.

"Uh... What are you doing?" Gail sipped her scotch, grimacing at the burn just like she likes it.

"We're watching a movie."

"But Hannibal is on!

"It's a rerun and I cannot take another cannibal joke. I see enough dead bodies at work."

"Fine." Holly smiled at the appearance of Petulant Peck, leaning over to give her a firm kiss but before it could turn into something more, she pulled back and started the movie.

* * *

"It's in French."

"That's an amazing display of your observation skills, babe. Good job!"

"Ass."

"Gotta take what you dish."

"No, seriously. Why are we watching an artsy fartsy French film?" With a cheeky grin that almost always gets plastered on her face when she drinks scotch, the doctor whispered to Gail's ear.

"There are subtitles below but believe me, we won't be needing much of those." The blond took another big sip of her drink while she tried to act unaffected by Holly's husky voice and warm breath in her ear.

* * *

"I should've known."

"Hmm?"

"This is a lesbian film, isn't it?"

"Movie of the year. Well, last year."

"Do all lesbians subscribe to some sort of magazine that tells you these things?"

"I don't."

"We already established that you're not a fully formed lesbian, Hol. Still no tattoo."

"You are an ass."

"Dish. Take."

* * *

"That chick's name is probably Sara." The doctor chuckled but remained silent.

"Oh, wow. Her cousin?! Who would've believed her in real life?"

"Mmmmhmm." Holly humming in reply signified that she's trying to focus on the tv but acknowledging her girlfriend's comment and agreeing with it to some extent.

"Damn. She has game. More than Chris and Dov put together."

"Add Nick as well and I'll concur." She squints at her in mock contemplation.

"Deal."

* * *

"Soooooo… THIS is _why _we're watching a French lesbian movie."

"Maybe."

"Totally."

"Totally."

"Is that even possible?"

"The book you gave me says it is."

"That book was a joke."

"Mmm…"

"Oh, that's kind of gross. I love you, honey but I'm not ever going to smell your ass like that."

"Trust me, I don't want you to either. Takes all the mystery away."

"Feaces isn't mysterious. It's disgusting."

* * *

After the long sex scene, they both gradually lost any interest they had on the movie to focus the amourous energy towards each other instead.

Still a little tipsy, Gail was giggling in between kisses before pulling away briefly.

"Want to jump in bed and sniff my ass?"

* * *

**Let me know what you think. **

**I update on my tumblr a lot more regularly (repressedgenius) mainly because I suck at editing here.**


	3. Chapter 3 : Orphan Black

"Honey, I'm home!" Holly can't help but smile at that feeling very much like a cat that swallowed the canary—a beautiful singing blond canary.

Gail was in a significantly better mood after their first trip out of town together. It was a last minute surprise put together by Holly and she was worried about springing it onto Gail like she planned. Ultimately she figured it was easier that way. Gail wouldn't have enough time to over-think things and add unwarranted stress on the their impending trip beforehand.

"Mmmm. What're you cooking?" Gail came up behind her, wrapping her arms around Holly's waist and kissing her shoulder in greeting.

"Thought I'd make lasagna for dinner. Hey, you." She twisted her body enough to place a chaste kiss on Gail's lips.

"Coming home to a warm meal by my favourite hermoso hombre is the best." Holly merely moved to off the oven before pinning Gail against the counter.

"Am I supposed to understand what you said?" Her voice was suddenly huskier from hearing Gail speak a foreign language albeit just a phrase she didn't understand.

Mildly distracted by the sensations of light kisses trailing along the side of her neck, Gail mustered a reply, "Mmmm. Maybe." Holly stops her teasing then.

"Sorry, it's just I've been watching an interrogation with Steve today and the guy only spoke Spanish. It was hombre this hombre that. Google translate helped a smidge."

"Hmmm. That sounds exciting."

"I wish. Couldn't get much from him in the end."

"Why don't you take a shower and we can have this on the couch in a bit."

"That's why you're my número uno."

"Come be my little spoon?"

"You don't have to ask again. Uuuf. Mmmm…"

"Comfy enough?"

"Perfect. Now, let's watch some tv."

"Did you say clones?"

"Mmm hmmm."

"Like human DNA copies?"

"You can say that."

"Wow, you're really nerding up my entertainment here, Holly."

"Get used to it."

"Look at that beautiful trouty mouth. I like him already. Sass master. I think I found my spirit animal."

"I don't even want to know where you learned that."

"From your lesbian magazine."

"Ha ha, Gail."

"So, Delphine or Cosima?"

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play coy with me."

"Beth."

"Good answer."

"Is it bad that I really, really, really like Helena? God, I'm even pronouncing her name like Sarah."

"I'm not surprised. You're a fannibal."

"Babe! You said fannibal! I though you didn't think it was a proper word?"

"It's on urban dictionary. I can compromise."

"The one with the fringe gives me serious goose bumps."

"Hah. She reminds me of your mom, actually."

"Gross! They're having sex. MAKE IT STOP!"

"Do you want to watch the last one now?"

"Hmmm?" Holly stretched her arms above her head and yawned with her spectacles displaced to the left from her nap.

"Let's go to bed, babe." The younger woman pulled her from the couch and guided her up the stairs to Holly's room.

Before they enter, Holly had her pinned to the wall opposite the doorway. After rubbing the sleep from her eyes, Holly remembered that Gail didn't have to go to work until late in the afternoon the next day.

So, with a cheeky smile intact, she made a show of whispering very softly to Gail's ear.

"What would you say to a good old-fashioned junior-high make out?" The corner of Gail's lips turned upwards as she pulled Holly's body closer to her.

"Why it feels like I'm coming home."

* * *

**Let me know what you think. **

**I update on my tumblr a lot more regularly (repressedgenius) mainly because I suck at editing here.**


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